Inertia Kills

In light of the death of J.D. Salinger on January 28, 2010.

So anyway, I kind of feel compelled to say some things here. It probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to most people, and god damnit, I guess it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me either. Well I’ve been thinking about the whole Salinger thing and his dying and all, and him being underground and everything, and kind of wondering if his stories are still relevant to kids today. I mean, I’m a goddamn English teacher. Of course I like his work and all, I teach Catcher in the Rye for christ’s sake. But I’m thinking about the kids. I keep picturing all these kids and they’re bored as hell in this big school. And then I’m there too, and what the hell am I? Some phony English teacher telling them what a great book this “Catcher in the Rye” is. It’s supposed to be this great novel that speaks to the angsty adolescent. But come on, the book was written for the angsty adolescent of my god damn parents’ age… or even older. So that’s where some of the problem comes in. See, back then, there was a kids’ world, and there was an adults’ world, and Holden was just some confused, cynical, phony misfit antihero that didn’t really have a place. Now though, now it’s different. These kids have a whole culture created for and catering to angsty adolescents. But even still they just keep reading and flipping through the pages and stuff, but I know that they think it’s mostly just a waste of time. So these kids start reading this thing, and they keep on reading without paying attention to a goddamn thing. They just read without a bit of thought. And that’s where I try to come in and catch them before they fall off literature completely. Holden thinks about sexy stuff all day long, just like they do. Holden is concerned about what is happening with his life and how it relates to death, just like they are. Holden tries to impress his friends by talking about things and doing things he’s really too young to understand or do. Holden has grown to be disgusted with the adult world and the ending of childhood, yet it’s the future he inevitably faces. Holden drinks too much too young, swears too much, and lies about his sex life, just like them. So that’s what I try to do all damn day, be the catcher in the classroom. Catch these kids before they fall. That’s all I really want to do, I know it sounds crazy.

So that’s the problem, you can’t ever find a place that’s peaceful anymore, because there isn’t any. Not even in a classroom. You might think you’ve found one, but then as soon as you sit in a nice looking seat, someone has carved “Fuck you” into the desk. And that’s the worst, too, cause you or the best cleaning ladies in the goddamn world can’t even rub that shit out. I think if I ever retire, and they give me a nice gold watch and all, it’ll say “Aaron Anthony” engraved on the back, and then under that the years that I taught, and then right under that it’ll say “Fuck you.” I’m positive, in fact.

Kind of funny really… I feel like in a lot of ways, I’m still trying to figure out exactly what it is I’ll be doing here. I know I’ll be teaching English, and I know the books that I’ll be teaching, but at this point, that’s just about it. It’s going to take me a little while to adjust to and familiarize myself with all the ins and outs of the IB system. But, I’m sure it will come with time.

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